I was thinking of the last time depression came to call, and wrote this.
Can you relate?
I never see it coming.
It creeps along my flesh like a bug.
I choke on breaths, unsatisfying.
While dark becomes my refuge, the light no good.
And tears start to drop – mid-sentence – without grounds.
Becoming drunk on sadness; the sky of blue rains down.
Your voice slows, slows, slows…. to a crawl…
…it’s here – I am found.
Bed sheets stick to flesh, unwashed, foul.
Pills and pills and pills and pills.
Shame, stupor; a loathing of the self.
Medical quarantine… But falling still.
Torturous sleep, denying peace for all its wealth.
I cannot smile, or eat, or think, or care.
I cannot live, unlike before.
Look at me – I am not there.
I. Am. Lost to life…. Once more.
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