Sweeney Todd by Denis Brown #Horror #Poem #DarkLit

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a musical with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, and a book by Hugh Wheeler. It is based on the 1973 play of the same name by Christopher Bond. Sweeney Todd opened on Broadway in 1979 and in the West End in 1980. Originally published: 1979

ComposerStephen Sondheim. PlaywrightStephen Sondheim. LyricistStephen Sondheim Adapted fromSweeney Todd CharactersMrs. LovettSweeney ToddJohannaJudge Turpin


Sweeney Todd


Sweeney Todd, you rotten sod

Evil in your eyes, you cannot disguise

A man’s man, there are those who can!

Subtle and discreet, shifty on his feet

So, something for the weekend Sir

A cut, a snip, or a simple tidy

Bear in mind today “Specials” as its Friday!

Night on the town, in the finest threads around

Admiring all you see!  Town is buzzing like the bees

You can look, but you can’t touch, thank you very much!

Show me half a crown and I’ll show you around

Wink, wink, come on let’s be havin’ a drink!

Sir you seem so distracted? is your mind over active?

Would you like me to draw the blinds

Of course, Sir, I have your privacy in mind.

Open, now says closed.

Relax from your head down to your toes! (snigger, snigger!)

My girl will wash your hair

Yes, that dolly over there

Don’t be shy, you love this bit

Use your hands, and not your tits!

Hard to get good service these days

Girls just want to go out and play!

Others will stand and chat and give it large and all that

No care, or attention, just seeking an erection.

Don’t know what to say, other than Kids of today!

Soap and suds, she gives deep rub

Are her mounds in your face,

Oh Sir, she is such a disgrace.

It’s good to see your so relaxed

Just pull that lever to see what’s attached

OMG you can scream almost like a bloody queen!

Sir, you should have be in thriller

For a minute I was thinking I was the killer!

I can fix your broken neck

look at my shiny barbers’ blade,

Yes, it’s of the finest grade.

So sharp, so real, the closest shave you’ll ever feel,

swish, oops! Was that your last wish?

Slash, slash,  and thank you for the cash!

Got a right bleeder here

Do you think he’s really queer?

Never mind, perhaps on another day

Darling I need a mop, he’s flowing from the top!

What do ya mean you want a look?

You’re sick! just stick to your cookery books

This isn’t a pretty sight at any time,  day or night.

Check his wallet and his pockets

This one is not your Davy Crockett

I love the hunters watch and chain

Darling, “thank you for thinking of me again.”

I now have a few of these,

but with this one, I am so very pleased!

It ticks in perfect time

Just like my bloody crimes

Sweetie he has a mole

Or is it mascara dot he stole?

More meat for your meat pies

How kind of me to supply

Clearly a cut above the rest,

I had to get that off my chest


The locals love her recipe,

they say her pies are full body

I’m glad the police are so dumb

As they take another one!

Frankly, I find them a little rich,

I keep telling that bleedin’ little bitch

All this cooking is getting out of hand!

Try not to mince the eyes

 as staring back is never a good surprise!

Are you ready now my dear?

As I’m feeling  rather queer

It’s time to hit the town

Spend these  glorious silver crowns

Oh, bless you sir, you were so kind

For having kept both of us in mind

Rest in Pieces – Just my little joke

Her pies are now so bespoke!

Curtain Down


What are your thoughts on this dark interpretation of an already dark story? Let us know below

Would you like to share your poetry or shorts here?
Get in touch.

Please Don't Leave Without Sharing Or Commenting...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.